How strange is this…..i have not written a single article yet purely for Body Language, madness! Firstly before i start blabbing away i would like to thank Karabo Maota for suggesting the topic.
Body language is such an important factor when communicating, i really dont know where to start…..Lets start with something simple…..Communication is based on 3 key factors; Body Language, Tonality and Words. Communication has been said to be 55% body language, 38% tonality and 7% words…..this means that what you do with your body is far more important than what you do with your words and how you say them. So basically…..PAY ATTENTION
PUA’s and men wanting to improve their dating lives find this out very quickly, simply because they are subject to meeting new women frequently in loud clubs where you cant here much of what is being. So they have to learn how to use their body well. They find this out easily as well because the average person when in a loud environment will lean in when he talks AND when he is listening. So to combat this you learn how to keep your body composed and to use your voice to speak loud and clear.
Body language is firstly a representation of how we are thinking. You can use your body to feel relaxed by leaning back into your chair instead of leaning forward and ‘on the edge’. You can maybe smile instead of frowning to feel happy. Basically if you want to feel better or different, change your body, move it in a different way. If you want to be confident then stand or sit like someone who is confident would. It is the best way to feel and look like you are confident and over time your sub conscious will adapt to this new way of acting so will change your beliefs to match it. Not many people realise this, that simply by changing how you stand you will actually change how you think. Your physiology effects your Psychology. Obviously if you are not conscious of your body you will let it control you and reinforce what you are feeling. Quick little experiment i want you guys to do….next time you are out….watch how many people when they are walking on their own have their heads down. I guarantee you will be blown away by just how many do. When you walk, always have your head up, when you look down your eyes move to a place that will access emotions within you. Look up, look out at everything around you.
Body language isnt rocket science, you dont need to read about it or ask for help, you need to just be conscious of it to begin, learn what is right and wrong, then then you will have good body language unconsciously. A good way to discover right and wrong is to approach brand new people in different ways and see how they respond. For example approach someone head on, on an angle, from behind etc. See the difference. Try approaching someone over your shoulder and say something complimentary that shows interest; the reason is that they are 2 opposites forms of communication but showing different things, one shows interest the other does not. Usually when we are not interested in something or are annoyed by something we turn away from it. I learnt this well by working on VIP doors at clubs. If i had someone come up to me asking to come in and i told them no, they would still stand and plead with me. So i usually turn my back completely away from them and 9/10 times they walk away. BODY LANGUAGE IS POWERFUL. The idea that body language sub communicates things is brilliant, especially for PUA’s as they use alot push and pull techniques to spark interest and attraction. You can give the appearance of disinterest by making it look like you are about to walk away when you are talking to a girl because she has just said something that you didnt like….or make her think you didnt like. But the interesting thing about body language is that it can override words, which obviously gives you the impression that what you say has no importance. It does, if you want to make your words important then all you have to do is make sure that when you are talking to someone that you have a nice relaxed body language and arent shifting around etc and focus on your words and tonality. If your body isnt doing anything, then the person communicating with you will have to find another pathway to interpret what you are communicating to them, so they will switch their filters over to tonality and then words. This then means that if your tonality and body are motionless then your words will be the most powerful thing. Which is why communicating through technology is based purely on words.
Anyway to summarise…..your body language is a very powerful tool for you to use, it is also powerful for you to know what it means when viewing someone elses body language. The best way to really improve at this (and anything) is to go out with no script and try things out and see what works. There are people out there in the world who have no theory behind them on how to do things…but are better than the ones who do. So watch them as well